The term Khilwat is reflective of the blissful sports between Supreme Brahmn Aksharateet Sri Rajji, bliss-part Sri Shyamaji and the Brahmn Srishti Souls. Where these three are present, there is Khilwat. In essence, Khilwat is the domain of Shyamaji, who is the blissful component of Sri Rajji.
Before their Great Descent to this world, the last blissful conversation (Ishak Rabad) took place between the Souls, Shyamaji and Rajji in Mool Milawa, the 'Khilwat Khana,' as is called in the Holy Kuljam Swaroop (KS). The tenth book of the Holy KS is rightly named as 'Khilwat' since it contains the complete account of all the facts that happened in Mool Milawa. This presentation attempts to bring some taste of Khilwat for the benefit of those who mainly read and understand English.
At this present moment, our Par-atman's power of concentration (soul ) is diverted on this worldly stage, while their true spiritual (noori) bodies are seated in Khilwat Khana. By reminding Khilwat, our Lord Sri Rajji is awakening His souls (all of us). To dive deep in the ocean of supreme bliss or Nijanand, we must read Khilwat. To be awakened in the lotus feet of Sri Raj Shyamaji and realize our true spiritual nature, we must recall Khilwat. When a soul is truly immersed in Khilwat, there does not remain the slightest feeling of an ego ('me' or 'I') hidden even in the most remote corner of consciousness.
The book of Khilwat includes the esoteric secrets pertaining to Sri Rajji, Shyamaji and the Souls. It directs an individual soul's focus inward, within one's true-self, with intensity as powerful as a laser beam. In Khilwat, the concern to awaken others seem to be relatively less important. It shows how we can entirely abandon our worldly ego or 'I', and fill our hearts with the 'I' of Rajji. In Khilwat, hidden behind the expression of the hopelessness, there is the Big Hope for the soul for reunification with the Lord. Each chapter emerges with a unique way of expressing the soul's total surrender and love. In Khilwat, there is nothing more than "My Lord and I." Here, an individual soul develops an intense desire for the lotus feet of Sri Raj Shyamaji. To accomplish this, an individual must first surrender to the Lord's will or His hukum.
Lastly, for an individual soul to be in Khilwat, it is essential that we connect ourselves spiritually with Rajji--in a wifely relationship. The joy of Khilwat is exclusively reserved for the Chosen Souls, the Brahmn Srishtis. The Jiva Srishti and Ishwari Srishti souls are not qualified for the joy of Khilwat. First, have faith in yourself that you are the Brahmn Srishti, the very blissful component of the Lord. So, let's first commit to the foundation of a spiritual wifely relationship.
As the soul takes the Holy Words of Khilwat to her heart, she begins to experience the joy of the supreme bliss. In Khilwat, the soul talks face-to-face with Rajji. All the wants for the worldly recognition sublime in the fire of the Khilwatik Love. There remains not even a slightest gap between the Lover (Sri Rajji) and the Beloved (Souls). The state of the soul rises beyond the domain of sunya (nothingness), formlessness (nirakaar), attributelessness(nirguna), Kshar (Kaalmaya), and Akshar Brahmn's eternal Yogmaya. Now, Let's tune-in with our Khilwat.
Khilwat
1: Aisa Khel Dikhaiya…
The soul's dilemma: Sending an Arji to Rajji
Oh Rajji, You have shown us such a unique drama, which we asked for.
Now, how can I withdraw my own request?
I know you will respond by saying, "I showed it because all of you
had asked for it."
You have shown such a false world that
all my hopes for survival have perished.
In this chaotic world, so badly have I been separated from you,
that neither am I able to say anything to you, nor can I hear your
Words.
While our souls (par-atmans) seat side-by-side
like the seeds of a pomegranate in the Mool Milava,
our physical eyes cannot see that.
Contrary to reality, on this worldly stage,
our heart doesn't feel that intimacy.
I feel too far separated from you.
Dear Rajji! On one hand, I am unable to express my deep feelings,
and on the other hand, my senses are struggling to listen to your divine
Words.
Thinking this again, I begin to request you.
But, immediately the forces of maya break my feeling apart.
Please awake me in the Mool Milava, in your gracious lotus feet.
Oh the donor of eternal happiness, My Dham Dhani,
you have plunged your souls into a deep valley of separation,
as if we were never related.
In reality, I am sitting in your lotus feet, together with you.
Nevertheless, since you have diverted my consciousness to such a foreign
land that
I am unable to figure out your identity, home, and the direction to
reach you.
A mighty curtain of fourteen worlds blinds me.
Consequently, I feel so much distant from you.
While in your lotus feet,
I have become such a foreigner that it is very hard to find a word
that can bring me closer to you.
At times, I think of making a proposal to you.
However, my thought process has been so distorted that I have lost
all the hopes.
While in fact I am sitting in your lotus feet,
Somehow, I don't feel comfortable to tell the pain of my heart.
I realize that Param Dham is my abode and you are my Dham-Dahni.
I also realize that you are also awakening us with all this eternal
happiness.
In spite of this, why am I not waking up?
I don't understand how this material creation has become a huge obstacle
for me
on my path to eternal happiness.
Amidst this hopelessness, I rely only on your grace.
You are so graceful to me that I am now able to experience the eternal
joy of Param Dham,
even while keeping the curtain of material existence.
Dear Rajji! I am asleep and you are awake.
My eyes see what you are showing to me.
I surrender to your greatness.
I am nothing in front of you.
Oh Rajji, you are my only hope!
All of my energy, intellect, and hope are exhausted.
None of my organs functions any more.
I am lost in this world like a sailor lost in the middle of the ocean
without a compass.
However, since you have confused me,
only you can resolve my confusion.
Haven't you dumped me permanently?
Haven't you forgotten our eternal relationship?
Please don't break my heart any more.
In this foreign land, I can't find a word that leads directly to you.
I have no other hope, no other place to relax but your lotus feet.
You are my only rescuer. This is my faith.
Through your divine grace, you have shown us both these worlds.
Please awake me in your lotus feet in Param Dham.
My spirit, intellect, and hope-- all are in your hands.
I have nothing more left that I can claim of my own.
What more can I tell you and how do I tell you?
Please wake me up in our original abode.
Shyamaji alerted me; but I ignored her warning.
I was so blinded that I could recognize neither my Dhani nor my true
self. 21,22
Shri Rajji explained to me with his loving words, and
handed over the Tartam key in my hands.
Now, with this Tartam Wani,
I am determined to solve all the puzzles of the universe.
24
In world scriptures, there are a number of witnesses/clues about this
divine wisdom.
The Koran descended for me and no one knows its secret meanings.
Only I recognize them.
How can anyone else disclose the secret meanings of my Lord's message?
My soul also understood this way because Shyamaji foretold this to
me. 27,28
Now my heart tells me that
all the animate and inanimate creatures will
sing the songs of your praise and your love.
They won't speak anything else but the praise for your love. 30
Oh Rajji! I am so engrossed by hopelessness that
I don't feel like talking, listening, or looking at you-
even if you stand in front of me.
I can not physically see you.
I dare not tell you anything.
Nor am I aware of our relationship.
As such, I am sitting in your lotus feet.
This drama made me forget that you are my Dhani.
I forgot my eternal blissful abode Param Dham.
I feel completely disconnected from you.
It appears that nothing is in my control.
Now, what do I do? Whom do I tell? Where do I go?
There is no place to go.
Oh Rajji! You have confirmed in my heart that
there is no other refuge but your lotus feet.
But, on the other hand, you have left me without energy.
I can't even hold on to your lotus feet.
After all, everything is in your hands.
Whom else can I tell my pain?
Oh Rajji! If I cry, the entire world will know it.
If I shout for you in the pain of separation, then I fear of becoming
unconscious.
Awake me by showing the glimpse of your secret divine sports.
Oh Rajji! If there is anything to say, I have to tell it to you
only;
If there is any safe place to hide, it's your lotus feet.
I am your soul and you are my spiritual husband.
You are my hope, energy, intellect, and my place to relax.
This body and this universe are nothing to me.
All my actions are for you.
Oh Rajji! The force with which you separated me,
is the same force that is now awakening me.
In this confusion, I do not have to speak anything.
If you are the donor of the eternal bliss,
how can you make me forget?
You are in my heart, and
you are the one who is guiding me through this strange journey.
Just in a moment, you made me forget the infinite happiness of Paramdham.
Now, I foresee even more of this happiness.
Oh Lord! Your Will (Hukum) is Everything
O Rajji! I have no doubt
that my inner senses will experience eternal bliss only through your
will.
Your Hukum brought this worldly drama into being, and so, we (all souls)
came here.
Its your will, which enable us to see you.
It's your will, which wakes me smiling or crying.
It's your will, which determines my victory or defeat, my happiness
or my pain.
It's your will, which determines my happiness or my pain.
Oh Lord, there is nothing else but your will, hukum!
Whatever has happened, is happening, and will happen--everything reliant
on your will.
Truly, nothing happens without your hukum.
Oh Rajji! Now you may do as you wish.
My entire ego (me, my, I) has died.
Sitting in this false impermanent world,
what more do I have to say to you?
I fully realize the power and influence of your will.
I could realize this simply because of your power.
I have lost my self-existence.
There remains nothing more to be told.
After all, why should I repeat all this over and over?
Simply, let me tell you one thing:
"Only through your divine grace,
will I be able to speak to you face-to-face in Paramdham."
Since I have been plunged into the deep valley of separation,
I cannot do anything on my own.
Now, I solely rely on your grace to wake up.
If there was something in my mind,
I would have already told you about it.
In fact, nothing more remains untold.
Oh Rajji! In this false world,
I did whatever I thought to be appropriate.
I look at you to console me.
I agree that you created this drama just for us,
I don't understand why I am alive in this land of hopelessness.
My breath must stop with a transient of pain.
Nevertheless, the number of breaths is also in your hands.
Oh My Lord! Why am I forced to tell you the same story repeatedly?
After all, it will conclude the same way.
I feel sorry for missing all the valuable opportunities.
Please bring an end to this drama.
Let me take a relaxing bath in the ocean of eternal bliss!
End of Khilwat Chapter:1
Khilwat2: Treating the 'Ego' (Mein Khudi)
O my Lord! Let me follow your footsteps,
I am fully satisfied with the witnesses of the scriptures and saints.
I realize your presence outside and inside--everywhere.
I don't see a single place that is without you.
Through your Tartam Wani, I understand that you are the All-Knower.
There is nothing without your hukum.
Afterall, what is driving all humans? Your hukum knows it all.
Not even a moment passes without your hukum.
So far, I used to think that being in this false world,
my message-arji may not be reaching to you.
However, now I realize through you that
in this world created by Akshar Brahmn,
nothing happens without your hukum.
Only through your hukum could the true (hai) souls experience
the drama of the false world (nahin).
Just as the magician brings forth magical pigeons in front of his audience,
you created this worldly play by saying a magical word, "Kunn,"
Now, you are showing this drama to your souls.
O Rajji! If we are able to see this false drama right from Paramdham,
while sitting in your lotus feet,
Why can't our message from this false land reach back to you?
Your divine wisdom has already shown me
The pure truth to eternity,
the path leading beyond the domain of formless nirakaar.
Moreover, all my doubts have sublimed through
The grace of Shyamaji and the grace of Prophet Muhammad.
Now, while sitting in the dark night of Moha,
as I try to send you a message with my true heart,
my consciousness must rise up to you.
O Dhani! You have reinforced in my heart that
you are showing us the drama of the false world.
Now my soul cries: Do as you wish.
Since, you are the source of everything,
you may either please me or make me nervous.
I have no other place to pour my pain.
What do I do? Whom do I tell all this?
After all, you are the one who is inspiring me to speak such words
of desperation.
Dear Rajji! On one hand, I know that
no desire comes to me without your hukum,
Why then, I tend to think that you are not giving me what I want.
I know that you give birth to all my desires--
simply to satisfy them all.
And, as such you are All-Capable, All-Doer.
And therefore, its all your fault, Rajji!
After all, why am I committing such a grave crime of finding faults
with Sri Rajji?
O Dhani! You enabled me to rise to this spiritual height.
And, in return, I am faulting at you! How rude!
This is the ego (mein), that I need to kill,
It has become an obstacle in my path to you.
This ego criminalizes my soul.
O Lord! Please shower your divine grace upon me
So all my ego attains a permanent death.
As such, false cannot defeat the truth and eternal.
However, due to the curtain of maya, even the truth sounds false to
me.
Maya can not cross the boundaries of nirakaar.
Only truth pierces truth, as only a diamond cuts a diamond.
Only a true Brahmn Srishti Soul can pierce into your eternal bliss.
This happens when they become doubtless about your divine wisdom.
O Rajji! For sure, the message of the Brahmn Srishti Souls shall
not reach to you (tawhid)
until the deep waters of the false ego recedes completely.
Why is this dead ego not dying?
I don't understand how can a dead ego
become an obstacle between live Rajji and me.
Now I know that only Rajji's hukum will remove this curtain of ego.
When I say: I killed my ego. I separated and removed it completely.
Even that shows my ego!
Even in all these sayings, there is still a reflection of
my own ego, me, and a sense of 'I'.
When this 'I' will be removed, only Dhani will remain in the balance.
O my dear soul!
You shall first drink the juice of death.
When this will happen, your ego shall die.
You will then become fearless.
You will then treat death and life as equal.
Here, in this world, you will experience the blissful sports of Param
Dham.
All will know your true friendship with the Lord.
People will know you as Brahmn Srishti Souls.
You will be the highly respected soul if you reach this goal.
O my dear soul!
The only sacrifice that Sri Rajji expects from us is
the death of our ego.
Let's walk on the path of 'No-Ego.'
End of Khilwat, Chapter: 2
Jivtey mariye aap ko, sabad pukarat hakk |
Ma siva allah, sab duni karey tarak ||
Abandon false pride.
Be humble and find true bliss.
A true living is one who has died and yet lives!
My enemy "I" is dead
Through Rajji's grace, I slay myself;
thus, I became dead from the worldly stage,
and became alive towards Rajji.
Consider and lay this truth to heart.
Then only will you find the Beloved Rajji when you become the living
dead.
Lose thyself to find your(true)self and your Lord Dhani.
Die inwardly and meet your Lord.
Your soul has been converted as the worst sinner.
I pray to Sri Raj Shyamaji look upon me with your limitless compassion,
and consider upon me.
Please forgive me for having created these countless negativities,
and help me to regain my puri